My friend Josh is a Scotch aficianado. Because of him, I've grown to learn that there are different kinds of Scotch from different regions, differences in how long they're kept in the barrels (10 year, 25 year, etc.), and vast differences in taste per specific brand.
I've never, however, thought about putting whiskey - of ANY kind - in an aluminum can. But that's just what Scottish Spirits, Ltd. is doing.
Now, let's just break this down. Yes, we've all put various booze in receptacles that might not have been meant for it. Wine in a Nalgene bottle, vodka in a plastic Taco Bell coke cup, beer in a bowl of Cheerios. But whiskey? Whiskey goes in a flask. Or in a nice glass with some ice or just a hint of water. Whiskey - especially SCOTCH whiskey - does not belong in a can. I repeat - it does not.
I realize I might sound a bit hotheaded but this is a serious issue. If we, as social whiskey drinkers, actually let this trend continue and let people accept it - what's next? Cosmopolitans in a jar? Wine in a plastic Safeway bag? And that's nothing compared to what it'll do to the reputation of Scotch.
Beer in a can, sure. I'll even take a mixer in a can. But cans are meant for things that go in a 7-11 display window (i.e., Four Loko). Scotch is a behind-the-register, sophisticated, sometimes more expensive than your wife's engagement ring spirit. You can't put class in a can. And while I hope that a spirit as strong, stolid and historically significant as Scotch would hold its class in any receptacle - I fear that a mere alumninum can would crush its legacy.
Scottish Spirits wants the public to think that you can combine the rich, leather-chair sensibilities of Scotch AND the ease of drinking from a can. Pshaw. The website touts: "Is there any better sound than the crack of a beer can being opened after a long day of work? What if that can was filled with something a little stronger than beer, say Whisky?"
I mean...what? "Come on beer drinkers, don't be pansies! Step it up a notch!"
"Tired of only being able to drink two fingers in a small glass? Get a whole 12 ounces at once - in a can!"
And another thing -- because this company "Scottish Spirits" is not based in Scotland (its in Panama), the whiskey isn't even technically real "Scotch whiskey," so...I mean, that's just sacrilege.
I could go on, but I'll stop for now. I have so much to say, I really do - I mean, have they even considered the problem of alcoholism among people who can only afford a can of something? Obviously they're going to go for Scotch over beer, and the pattern will only get worse! But I want to hear what you think, dear reader. Please join me in scoffing at this new development - and remember, if we don't stand up to the "liquor in a can" industry, they'll continue, and then we'll be buying Grey Goose at 7-11. Shudder.
* Note to Environmentalists - I realize aluminum is much more environmentally friendly, but there are many materials that could work for spirits other than a tin can. I'm not advocating overuse of glass - I'm advocating people recycle everything. I'm also advocating change - a new, more efficient glass or synthetic bottle. Just not a tin can.