Drill

A while back an Alaska state legislator proposed that the federal government take over New York’s Central Park. Apparently, he was trying to compare Central Park with ANWR.

Let’s see. Both Central Park and ANWR are off limits to oil development. So how do Alaskans partial to role reversal respond?

Let’s tell those effete Eastern liberals to drill for oil in Central Park. But let’s not stop there. How about drilling on Wall Street? I doubt folks in Arctic Village and Chalkytsik would worry about caribou calving grounds in lower Manhattan. Or for that matter, the Pentagon. I think it’s time to stop locking up federal lands in Washington, D. C. and open them for development. Yeah, I know; some brass-hugging greenies will yelp in their granola about destruction of their military-planning environment. But, as Alaskans, let’s follow Sarah Palin’s lead and tell them “Drill, baby, drill.” While we’re at it, I keep hearing that the oilies want to drill in an ANWR area no larger than the Los Angeles International Airport. If that’s true, why not eliminate the middle man and drill in LAX?

Baby

If that state legislator’s so fond of role reversal, maybe he can put on his green suit and demand that lower 48ans stop hydraulic fracturing to develop gas deposits. The companies that indulge in “fracking” aren’t telling us what poisons they’re injecting into people’s water wells and why some folks’ tap water catches fire. We can develop Alaska gas without poisoning people’s drinking water if the feds halt lower 48 fracking and make Alaska gas much more attractive to people in other states. If that politico wants to pose as a greenie for real, maybe he can take a stand on fracking. That is, if he has the guts to say something some megacorporation heads don’t want him to say.

Drill

Now that the governor’s plan to cut oil company taxes went belly up, at least for the time being, it’s time for me to become mean-spirited and fail to show compassion for the oilies. I guess I’m some kind of heretic for not believing that the Holy Spirit protects Exxon Mobil, BP and the others from ever saying anything but the truth. So far, none of those companies have left Alaska for North Dakota and other more attractive venues. As I remember, the companies that promised us “No decline after ‘99” want us to believe they’ll decide whether to develop new Alaska oil fields only on their tax rates. How long did Exxon spend on procrastinating development of that Point Thomson North Slope oil field and on fighting the state’s efforts to get a court to force it to do so?

We’re less than six weeks away from the 35th anniversary of the first oil sent into the trans-Alaska pipeline. The North Slope is a “mature” oil field. The remaining oil is going to be harder to get and therefore less lucrative. Oil companies discriminate against oil fields on the basis of age. They prefer young babes like North Dakota to old hags like Alaska, taxes or no taxes, and I don’t know how oil fields can sue corporations for discrimination on the basis of age.

A couple of days before the 35th anniversary of Prudhoe Bay development, my property taxes are due. I wonder how many politicians will listen if I threaten to leave Alaska unless Mayor Sullivan lowers my taxes. So far, he hasn’t come to my door to plead with me not to abandon Anchorage for a bush community that doesn’t tax real estate. If anything, I suspect he’d say good riddance.

The Supreme Court says corporations are people. If that’s true, then will I have the same political clout as Exxon Mobil, BP and their buddies?

Maybe you smart people can answer that one.