Environmentalist: All we want is clean, responsible development.

Me: Sounds good to me.

E: Renewable energy is the way to go, man. It’s clean and nearly eternal.

M: Agreed.

E: And say no to coal.

M: Okay. Old-school coal plants emit mercury -- which hurts both fish and fetus…

E: Yep.

M: So how about a gasified-coal plant -- like the one that CIRI is planning?

E: Nope. That still emits carbon dioxide.

M: Actually, CIRI plans to pump the CO2 into the ocean floor, in order to force up more oil. It’s a win-win.

E: Nope. It’s a double bummer.

M: Right… Well, are you in favor of more natural gas development?

E: Totally! Most of SouthCentral’s electricity comes from the stuff.

M: But, aren’t you in favor of the Critical Habitat Designation for Belugas in Cook Inlet?

E: Of course!

M: And won’t that potentially stop further gas exploration?

E: Hey -- Save the whales man.

M: Right. What about oil?

E: Dude, our economy totally depends on it.

M: So you’re in favor of further North Slope exploration?

E: Oh yeah!

M: Great –

E: Except, in ANWR.

M: Alright –

E: -- And except in areas that could affect Polar Bears. Thank goodness for the Endangered Species Act and Critical Habitat Designation… That will stop all the bad development.

M: Ya -- in an area the size of California... Think about the economic consequences, man. The job losses…

E: But bears are cute.

M: Right…

E: Oh – and you shouldn’t drill offshore either. It might hurt the Bowhead whales…

M: So… you’re not really in favor of any new oil development -- are you?

E: Don’t tell.

M: Sure thing.

E: Thanks.

M: Well, what are you in favor of?

E: Hydropower!

M: Oh great! Dams have lots of power. They’re clean and renewable…

E: Totally.

M: So which dam are you in favor of?

E: Um… Chackachamna…

M: Good idea. That lake could produce 330 megawatts of power.

E: Ya, it’s all good…Well, as long as it doesn’t hurt the lake. Or anything in it.

M: You do realize that they drill a hole in the lake, right?

E: Oh bummer…

M: Well, what about Susitna? It could power the entire Railbelt – forever.

E: Nice!

M: So you’re for it!?

E: I think so… Maybe… Well, no… it might ruin the river… Ya, it definitely would…

M: So you are no longer in favor of Susitna?

E: I can’t exactly say that.

M: Why not?

E: That would look anti-development. I hear it turns people off.

M: Gotcha. So, you’ll just keep saying that you’re ok with Susitna, while –

E: -- finding reasons to oppose it? True story, man.

M: What about tidal power?

E: Righteous! Using the ocean’s power!

M: Yep. Cook Inlet’s currents could create massive amounts of clean energy.

E: Ya… But NOAA said that the turbine blades could kill the belugas…

M: So scratch that one too?

E: It’s all for the whales, man.

M: Wow…Well, how about wind power?

E: Windmills! Silent, clean... Awesome.

M: Where do you want to place them?

E: Fire Island.

M: Sweet. 54 megawatts of power. 19,000 homes powered. Good stuff.

E: But then again -- it might kill the birds… And it’s ugly.

M: (sighs) So… to sum up, you’re against coal, gas, oil, hydro, tidal, and wind?

E: No man! I’m totally for those things! As long as they’re done in a --

M: -- Safe responsible manner?

E: You got it man.