Children and Change

Posted by mamas

Posted: February 9, 2009 - 10:07 pm

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Changes are difficult for families in general, but they get really sticky when your children are under the age of 3. We have been moving for the last week, and the kids are feeling it. Chaos and drama are regulars in our family at the moment. Even though our 5 month old is handling it fairly well, she has symptoms of being upset. However, she is thrilled to be around mommy and daddy no matter where we are living. Our toddler on the other hand is having a difficult time to say the least. The whole world seems to have turned topsy-turvy for him, and every day we are simply helping him to process the changes. Lot’s of hugs and one-on-one time seem to help, as well as a fabulous book on “moving” that I checked out from the library (Good ‘ol mister Rogers to the rescue).

It’s amazing to me how much children are affected when change happens to them. Some children retreat inside themselves to survive, while others act out their feelings of anger, sadness, or excitement. Routines are thrown off and so are emotions. When changes, either big or little, are not properly handled or sorted through, there can be lasting damages to our young children. That being said, I find that children are amazingly resilient and a little love and attention along the way will go for miles. Communicate with your children about what is going on even if you think that they’re too young to understand.

Of course the arrival of a new baby will upset the structure of a family as well. Talk to your children about the new baby and involve them in the process as much as possible. Teach them the value of being the older child and the extra perks that come with being older. Tell them that this is “their baby” so that they feel a sense of ownership when the new child comes along. Let them draw pictures to express their feeling and read books with pictures of babies. Don’t worry if your older child seems to go through a personality change when the baby arrives. It is usually temporary and they eventually learn to value the quality time that they have with you, and to appreciate the new family dynamic a baby brings.

All things change with time, so go ahead and prepare your children for the world we live in by teaching them healthy reactions to change. Set the example for how to stay calm under pressure, talk it out when there are emotions, and don’t forget to give out laughter and hugs along the way. Consistent love from you will be an anchor for them in times of distress. Don’t underestimate the capacity you have to guide your child or the amount of influence you wield in your child’s life. When change is evident on the horizon or looms in front of you, gather your young children and face it together.

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