Last week the Eagle River high hockey team played Chugiak—the most anticipated match of the year for those schools. Eagle River hosted, putting the music department in charge of providing the National Anthem. After all the choir students backed out, the hockey team asked the orchestra.

So, after much guilt-tripping on the part of my conductor, I conceded to perform. In an effort to make the evening more zesty I planned on playing the piece on my electric violin.

My conductor and I arrived at the rink early in order to set up the equipment. Unfortunately, the prolonged time in the slightly-above-freezing temperatures combined with utter terror froze my fingers solid. My tension peaked when one Chugiak hockey Dad asked my relationship status in an attempt to pawn his son off on me.

Mercilessly, the announcer gave the cue and I shuffled onto the ice trailing my amp cord. The Chugiak team crouched on the side as I walked past, wolf-whistling and declaring me “fresh meat.”

The National Anthem honestly didn’t start off too hot and only got worse. While the sound of an electric violin is intentionally distorted, projecting the sound by putting a microphone up to my mini amp just made it delayed and therefore out of tune.

I went away dismayed, but hopeful that ardent hockey fans don’t know much about alternative violin techniques. Oh well. It may have not been the best performance in my eight years of playing, but apparently it looked cool.