Your Birth Team

Posted by mamas

Posted: November 1, 2008 - 10:51 pm

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Who you allow to be at your birth can make a dramatic difference in how you feel and how labor progresses. A strong support team can help you emotionally and physically. Your support team acts as a tool in promoting a positive birth experience. Even if there is just one person in the room that you are not comfortable with, it can raise your anxiety level, which in turn can cause problems for your labor. So ensure that your choices are well thought out in advance.

Most moms choose one or two key support people for their birth. Oftentimes it is a spouse/partner, mother, doula, or friend. Sometimes these different entities work in conjunction with each other as birth can be long and the support team may need occasional breaks.

The spouse/partner may want to play a hands on role throughout the birth and may want to be your lead support or coach. However, other spouses are not certain about the birth process and may not even be comfortable being in the room at all times. How a male will act around birth is usually not pre-determined. Instead, you often find out the day of the birth. Whether they want to be extremely involved, or just in the room, it is a good idea for them to attend a childbirth education class with you and to learn about the process of birth. Talk in advance about your partner’s thoughts and expectations of the birth.

The mother or mother-in-law can be a help or a hindrance when it comes to birth. Sometimes you will see fear in their eyes because they don’t know how to handle the birth that their daughter is experiencing. Other times you see great strength in their eyes and the true support of a “you-can-do-it!” attitude. Mothers often have great influence on their daughters especially during this process, so ensure that you are comfortable with your mother’s views on birth if she is someone who will be in the room with you.

A Doula is a non-medical labor professional who specializes in providing emotional, informational, and physical support. “The Doula Book” and “The Doula Advantage” talk in depth about the benefits of having a doula as part of your birth team. Decreasing the need for unnecessary interventions is one of the primary reasons that individuals hire a doula. It is also nice for the spouse/partner to know that not all the pressure is on him. Instead there is someone who knows progressive maneuvers/positions, who has knowledge of comfort measures, who is a steady presence (unlike nurses who change with shifts), and who can advocate for your birth plan. Most birth doulas also provide pre-natal support throughout your pregnancy and throughout your birth journey.

The friend is often invited into the room because she is a friend. However, this is not a wedding and you don’t need to feel obligated to have your best friend there. Again, it is important to know how your friend feels about birth. Some moms opt to have close friends at the hospital, but have them stay in the waiting room until the birth of the baby. However, if a friend is truly going to support you during birth, it is a good idea to express to her your views on birth or to give her a particular job to do. Some are there to chronicle the birth with photographs and others are there to sit quietly nearby or hold your hand.

Whoever you choose for your birth team, you will need to be able to rely on them and to trust them.

Who are you planning to have at your upcoming birth? If you have had children, who was at their births? What are your thoughts on labor support?

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