The wedding industry biz created the perfect catch phrase to court and coax out my generation's every whim, whimsy and nuptial wish: "...You should have the wedding of your dreams..."

Doesn't matter who you talk to: the hairdresser, the caterer, the florist, the officiant, the musicians... they all say it! I'm waiting for the Esthetician to tell me, "You should have the eyebrows of your dreams for your wedding."

Well these days, with less than a week to go until 'THEE' October 11th, I have been having some wild, freakish dreams. Maybe it's my subconscious trying to piece together all the planning, expectations and precious moments through the other side of the Looking Glass. Or maybe it's some trippy chemical in the bleach trays I've been using on my teeth.

Whatever it is, I've awoken either in a panic or in dazed confusion for the last two weeks. More than once I've been to Victoria Secrets with members of my family who one would normally not seek out for opinions on intimate apparel. Last night, I dreamt I was a social worker following up on wedding invitations I sent to impoverished families I worked with, and the single mom I invited wasn't home, but her son was, and said he'd go if I gave him $20, and then he stole my wallet. The day before that, I dreamt that my mom wanted to just use the wedding rehearsal for the actual ceremony so that we wouldn't have to go back to the chapel the next day; and then during the reading of the vows, my sister/maid of honor, who had been MIA until then, spills out of the chapel side door, intoxicated and without clothing. That dream was a doozy!

For the record, I have a lovely, charming sister and adoring mother who have been nothing but supportive and would never do anything of the sort. In some way, the dreams were a scary reality check because when compared with the worst that could happen in a parallel universe, our wedding, even with a few glitches here and there, will be just fine.

The sentiment behind the "Dream Wedding" is sweet. I understand I'm supposed to recall memories of idolizing Cinderella, Belle and The Little Mermaid, and believe that now it's my turn to marry Prince Charming and turn into a real person with the help of my trusted friends Scuttle, Flounder and Sebastian...

But I think I'll prefer having a nice, non-Disney, non-White Rabbit Ring Bearer ceremony and reception, and get on with our lives in a not so Brothers Grimm marriage. We can keep the "happily ever after" part in though: that I don't mind.

Perhaps the wedding industry might consider rephrasing their pitch to: "Have the wedding of your prayers," like the Prayer for Serenity. Serenity Now.