Birth & Beginnings: childbirth conversations : Hello Baby, Goodbye Pregnancy

Birth & Beginnings: childbirth conversations

Hello mothers and mothers-to-be! This blog focuses on pregnancy, childbirth, children, and parenting. Along with providing helpful information and resources, it is also a place to discuss choices and trends in these areas. The blog will inform and encourage mothers as we share and learn from each other. It is not a place to say that one opinion is better than another; instead it is a forum for camaraderie and for sharing personal experiences. So feel free to read, respond, and absorb information on a daily basis as together we traverse this world of motherhood.

Laura Tolman, CCE, LSP

Laura Tolman is a local certified childbirth educator and labor support professional. She also works as a postpartum doula. She and her husband are long time Alaskans and are the parents and forming relationships with families while learning about other cultures. In her free time Laura enjoys writing freelance articles, poetry, and the performing arts. Her favorite pastime is being with family and coaxing uproarious laughter out of her young son.

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Hello Baby, Goodbye Pregnancy

Posted by mamas

Posted: September 2, 2008 - 11:31 pm

What an experience birth is, each journey unique and different. I went into labor Friday morning and three hours later, I was welcoming my baby girl into the world! So ends my pregnancy and begins the wonder of getting to know this little one.

After having a baby, your brain and body try to recognize the fact that this child is no longer inside the uterus. Many women describe it as feeling suddenly deflated, and they may even lament the sensation of being pregnant. However, ismall things are a wonderment such as being able to lay on one’s stomach or any position at all again. With the beginning of the “4th trimester” come a lot of challenges for mom and family.

One of the best things that you can do after the birth of your baby, is to rest as much as possible. Dealing with physical changes as well as emotional and hormonal, while caring for a newborn can take it out of you quickly if you don’t have a plan in place. A postpartum plan is very important in averting depression and feelings of being overwhelmed or inadequate. In addition, the new mom has a learning curve to conquer and issues such as breastfeeding may cause her to need more support.

A support person in the home used to be the standard after each birth in generations gone by. This person, often a mother, relative or friend, would come to the home to assist the family in whatever way possible. Cooking, cleaning, and helping with the baby, while the mother recovered her strength fully. However, today we tend to trivialize the importance of having that postpartum support already in place before the birth occurs. Postpartum doulas are beginning to fill the gap for those who don’t have family or friends available. Many women, simply don’t want to inconvenience anyone, or don’t have someone in the same state.

Also, some women allow too many visitors postpartum and can run out of energy quickly trying to be a good “hostess”. Therefore, it is appropriate to distance yourself from social pressures and to resist the urge to allow anyone to visit whenever they want. If you want people to visit, be sure that you are still pacing yourself, and don’t hesitate to politely thank them for coming and tell them you need to rest.

I encourage women to put a plan in place where they will at least have regular phone support and if possible someone to bring them meals or help with other kids. Most first time moms are surprised to find that their partner or spouse is also going to be having emotional, physical, and hormonal responses to the birth of this baby and may not be able to be the full support during this time. With proper support in place, a family can fully relax into their new life with baby.

When pregnant it is so easy to get caught up in preparing for the birth of the baby because it is the main event. However, overlooking the postpartum period can leave a mom wondering why she didn’t prepare for it. It is a good idea to read about postpartum so that you can get a feel for what to expect. If attending a childbirth class, be sure that it covers postpartum information also. Postpartum preparation will allow you to truly enjoy your baby, while taking time for oneself.

What were your postpartum challenges? Do you have a postpartum plan in place if you’re pregnant?

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11 December 13, 2008 - 5:17pm | cicicocuk

Thanks

ı have followed your writing for a long time.really you have given very successful information.
In spite of my english trouale,I am trying to read and understand your writing.
And ı am following frequently.I hope that you will be with us together with much more scharings.
I hope that your success will go on.

9 December 12, 2008 - 5:48am | waterdamagenewyork

The body and brain do have

The body and brain do have to meet right after a child birth. With my two children it was different each time. I recall the wonder and realizing my daughter was finally here when I was being wheeled out of delivery with her staring up at me wide eyed. I was so amazed that she was really there. When my son was delivered, I then began to cry when I realized he was finally out. His was a tougher, longer delivery. Both experiences were entirely different, but just as miraculous! In those precious moments you realize your world has changed.

7 December 11, 2008 - 11:05pm | denizerdogan

thx

Thank you..
http://community.adn.com/node/102473

3 September 10, 2008 - 11:20pm | MehlerAK

Congratulations!!

How wonderful to have a new baby!

I don't understand why this isn't a bigger issue with moms, especially new moms.

I had my best friend come for 2 weeks after the birth of my daughter. It was tough being a new mom, plus the added stress of healing from a C-Section. She was my angel, hopping to attention the moment we stepped foot in the house after coming home from the hospital. She made my transition into motherhood a smooth and wonderful one, just because she was there. She did everything, and I will be thankful for the rest of my life.
I think it is VERY important for all women to look at who will be caring for them and to set up postpartum support - because really, I believe that my friend helped me stay afloat in a sea of new and scary things, generally seen as the baby blues.
And kudos to all the women and men out there who help when a friend or family member has a new little addition. It is an incredible gesture and should be praised for it!

September 13, 2008 - 3:33pm | mamas

Agreed :-)

I couldn't agree more! I was surprised at how much it made a difference, as it seems I had better postpartum support with this one than with my first. Also, I want to encourage families to help out those who just had a baby. Not being a gourmet cook, I didn't feel comfortable in the past bringing meals to someone. But I had all different kinds of meals after this birth. The very busy or working women, would bring bagged salads and store bought entrees, and others would bring home cooked meals that took a long time to prepare. We didn't mind either way, they were both wonderful, and it was encouraging!

I agree, grand kudos to those who help out after a birth!

2 September 3, 2008 - 8:07pm | zoya

Congratulations!

I"m so happy for your and your family. You continue to do a wonderful job on this labor/child rearing blog!

Zoya

September 4, 2008 - 10:55pm | mamas

Thank You

It's wonderful to have a new baby in our lives (although we're in the zombie/not sleeping mode right now). It's so nice to have positive feedback on the blog too!

1 September 3, 2008 - 8:44am | Beth_451

Congratulations!

I wondered if your silence meant that your new baby had arrived! A three hour labor sounds wonderful! And now, hopefully, you're free from your nerve pain! I'm really excited for you.

So, are you having a postpartum doula helping at your house?

I've thought about this. Most women that I know have their mothers come stay with them for a few days or weeks after their baby is born. We live in a tiny apartment 20 minutes from my home, and I have the feeling that not having a place for my mother to stay and being just far enough away from home to be an out of the way trip, I won't have my mother over much after the baby's birth, but I bet if I asked her for help of any kind, she'd give it. My husband is planning on taking a week off from work. I am hoping to freeze some meals (and I bet I'd get some meals from church ladies if I needed them). I will have a midwife stopping by regularly to check on the baby and I to answer questions and concerns.

Probably, since we have so many friends and relatives within a half hour of us, we'll get a lot of people stopping by. I'll just have to be able to hand them a broom and a dishrag and say, "Oh, thank you for stopping by!" = ) Okay maybe not. But I hope to be clear in communication to family about the birth and expectations involving the birth (and time after the birth) around a month or so before I'm due. So maybe by then, my husband and I can formulate a better plan.

September 4, 2008 - 10:50pm | mamas

Thanks

Thanks, and yes, the pelvic pain is much better now. Although, I still pop and creak a bit, as my body adjusts.

My wonderful mother lives five minutes away and was at my home helping whole heartedly. She helped in every way possible and even cleaned my kitchen and did laundry so that when visitors arrived, the house would be wonderful. She also took a few night shifts so that my husband could get uninterrupted sleep so he would have energy to watch our son in the morning. The chicken soup that she made from scratch was a welcome meal after labor and birth :-) I am blessed to have her.There have also been friends bringing by dinner this week, which has saved us the thought time and preparation time.

I agree with your sentiments on handing the visitors...my advice is to space them out and don't allow people to make assumptions. If you're not ready or you want to wait until a certain date to entertain, then take your time. You don't want to be on your feet too much that first week anyway.

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