Birth & Beginnings: childbirth conversations

Hello mothers and mothers-to-be! This blog focuses on pregnancy, childbirth, children, and parenting. Along with providing helpful information and resources, it is also a place to discuss choices and trends in these areas. The blog will inform and encourage mothers as we share and learn from each other. It is not a place to say that one opinion is better than another; instead it is a forum for camaraderie and for sharing personal experiences. So feel free to read, respond, and absorb information on a daily basis as together we traverse this world of motherhood.


Laura Tolman, CCE, LSP

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Laura Tolman is a local certified childbirth educator and labor support professional. She also works as a postpartum doula. She and her husband are long time Alaskans and are the parents and forming relationships with families while learning about other cultures. In her free time Laura enjoys writing freelance articles, poetry, and the performing arts. Her favorite pastime is being with family and coaxing uproarious laughter out of her young son.

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Archive

Hello Baby, Goodbye Pregnancy - 9/2/2008 11:31 pm

Pre-natal Exercise - 8/22/2008 10:35 pm

No Fear - 8/17/2008 12:02 am

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) - 8/14/2008 10:20 pm

Connect With Moms - 8/7/2008 10:40 pm

The Chronic Whiner - 8/6/2008 10:55 pm

Last month of pregnancy - 8/1/2008 10:41 pm

Baby’s sleeping arrangements - 7/21/2008 11:02 pm

How many children? - 7/16/2008 11:38 pm

Go For the Full 40 - 7/11/2008 11:41 pm

Dream of Numbers - 7/7/2008 11:23 pm

Happy 4th of July - 7/4/2008 9:18 pm

Dealing with an Unexpected Birth Outcome - 7/1/2008 10:02 am

Another Breastfeeding Benefit - 6/25/2008 10:16 pm

Affirmations and Birth - 6/22/2008 10:53 pm

Inductions and the Bishop Score - 6/14/2008 5:03 pm

Pelvic Floor Muscle Myth - 6/8/2008 12:01 am

Mom, the Ultimate Multi-tasker - 6/3/2008 10:00 pm

Mommy and Baby Separation - 5/29/2008 10:00 pm

Open Blog - 5/18/2008 4:30 pm

How long to exclusively breastfeed? - 5/15/2008 4:56 pm

The “Business of Being Born” Review - 5/13/2008 8:32 am

full archive »

The Chronic Whiner

Posted by mamas

Posted: August 6, 2008 - 10:55 pm

The Chronic Whiner

One thing that most people do not have tolerance for is a child who whines loudly and continuously in public. This is the kind of situation that you naively figure you won’t have to deal with because your own sweet children would not behave in such a way. Then one day, you find yourself out somewhere with your own small person who has ultimately decided that whining is the only method of communication on the planet, and they must perfect the art.

My own son is still under two and doesn’t have as many words as an older child does, but that does not excuse the behavior in my mind. So my husband and I got on the same page and decided to work on this problem that has suddenly reared its whiney head. I am stubborn in nature and the key is to not give in. Whining that leads to a tantrum is not going to sway me. I may not be a parenting expert, but it seems obvious to me that giving a child what they want just to make them stop whining only encourages future negative behavior.

My son’s will of iron is no match for mom…..but he knows that even mom has moments of tiredness and not wanting to fight this battle, and so he is constantly testing the rule. Today, for instance, we had a ten minute standoff in the car while I waited for him to say please before giving him the fruit bar. He knew what he needed to do, but was choosing not to. The whining escalated, but eventually he realized that this was not the way to get what he wanted and so he signed the word “please” and received his reward.

Why work so hard at manners and good communication when a child is so young? Because this issue doesn’t just go away as a child grows. If anything, it takes more work. But having expectations and standards in place even when a child is small can pave the way as they reach other areas of life. Therefore, we will continue to expend the energy necessary to teach our children the valuable lessons they will use in life.

Share your thoughts, tips, or tricks for dealing with a whining child?


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  1     August 12, 2008 - 1:09pm | Beth_451

Whining

I remember my mother saying, "I can't hear whining" and completely ignoring us as kids until we could ask nicely.

I think it's great that you held out on your son in a ten minute battle in the car. Everything I have been reading has been stressing consistancy and outlasting. Everytime a child "wins" they have motivation to try again. I think whining children are miserable children, but children who know how to ask politely not only feel better about themselves, but are respected by the people around them as well. I hope I have the stamina to keep up good parenting even when I'm tired!

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