Birth & Beginnings: childbirth conversations

Hello mothers and mothers-to-be! This blog focuses on pregnancy, childbirth, children, and parenting. Along with providing helpful information and resources, it is also a place to discuss choices and trends in these areas. The blog will inform and encourage mothers as we share and learn from each other. It is not a place to say that one opinion is better than another; instead it is a forum for camaraderie and for sharing personal experiences. So feel free to read, respond, and absorb information on a daily basis as together we traverse this world of motherhood.


Laura Tolman, CCE, LSP

Photographer

Laura Tolman is a local certified childbirth educator and labor support professional. She also works as a postpartum doula. She and her husband are long time Alaskans and are the parents and forming relationships with families while learning about other cultures. In her free time Laura enjoys writing freelance articles, poetry, and the performing arts. Her favorite pastime is being with family and coaxing uproarious laughter out of her young son.

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American Academy of Pediatrics

For information on the optimal physical, mental and social health of infants, children, adolescents and young adults.

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Parenting and breastfeeding information

Baby Center

Information and updates on each stage of baby and family life.

Childbirth Connection

Practical information for women and families

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Go For the Full 40 - 7/11/2008 11:41 pm

Dream of Numbers - 7/7/2008 11:23 pm

Happy 4th of July - 7/4/2008 9:18 pm

Dealing with an Unexpected Birth Outcome - 7/1/2008 10:02 am

Another Breastfeeding Benefit - 6/25/2008 10:16 pm

Affirmations and Birth - 6/22/2008 10:53 pm

Inductions and the Bishop Score - 6/14/2008 5:03 pm

Pelvic Floor Muscle Myth - 6/8/2008 12:01 am

Mom, the Ultimate Multi-tasker - 6/3/2008 10:00 pm

Mommy and Baby Separation - 5/29/2008 10:00 pm

Open Blog - 5/18/2008 4:30 pm

How long to exclusively breastfeed? - 5/15/2008 4:56 pm

The “Business of Being Born” Review - 5/13/2008 8:32 am

The Name Game - 5/11/2008 10:02 pm

Just a Mom? - 5/9/2008 9:45 pm

Mental Snapshots - 5/8/2008 12:43 pm

Dogs and Babies - 5/5/2008 10:11 pm

Heartburn Horrors - 5/4/2008 12:18 am

Is your baby sick? - 5/2/2008 12:34 am

Income Options for Parents - 4/27/2008 9:01 pm

Mental Snapshots

Do you ever experience those moments of sheer joy where you think to yourself “I must remember this forever”? I think back to when I felt that initial flutter of life in my belly, or when I held my baby for the first time. I think of him sighing contentedly in my arms before I put him in his crib or gurgling delight while being rocked on his daddy’s knees. I think of first steps, first foods, first fits, and first words. I think mostly of facial expressions and deep blue eyes, and I will myself, to not forget a single moment.

Although, I know that time is notorious for ebbing away at the corners of these memories, I work to imprint them into the recesses of my heart. I want to be able to retrieve them when I need them. I’ll need them when my teenager is angry with me, or my young adult son is going away to college, or my daughter is getting married, or maybe even when the grandchildren are born. The point is that those memories can carry us through many tough times.

Even in the throws of parenting, with spit up, teething, diapers, and tantrums; I make it a priority to enjoy these times as I know that they are short lived. Of course, when you are working to survive the craziness of infant care, it may seem that this is an eternity that this stage will never end. But I challenge you to pick out a moment occasionally and mentally photograph it.

In order to remember these moments, I have taken different approaches. Sometimes I will write them in my journal or baby book. Occasionally I will be able to take a physical picture and include a caption underneath. Often I would breathe in the smell of my baby after his bath to make a scent memory or hold his soft hand to create a touch memory. When I am stressed, I will calm myself by remembering certain moments with my child that brought me great joy. This in turn will reinforce the memory as I bring it up again and again.

I desire to remember all of the details to the greatest capacity, yet I know that some of them will eventually slip away. However, there will always be those rock solid memories that somehow find a place in your mind and heart where they will live and breathe. Although we grow with our children in many ways, we don’t want to forget the ways in which they brought us joy and enhanced our lives. So for now, I must recognize that the future is uncertain and so I will relish each snapshot, giggle, and smile and pack them in my mental imagery bag for when I will need them again.

What mental snapshots from pregnancy or parenting will stay with you always?


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  1     May 16, 2008 - 10:18am | Beth_451

Regrets?

I really want to know what people have done to record their memories and what they WISH they had done. Since I still get to do this from the beginning, I am thinking of starting a daily journal of jotting a few sentences about each day of pregnancy--thoughts, feelings, symptoms, events, etc. I know a friend who started a journal at the beginning of her marriage and just kept it up. In just those simple black notebooks, there are records of those precious first words and funny phrases for each of her children for her to keep and treasure forever.

Can a blog do the same thing? Does anyone know how to "preserve" a blog? Is the time and effort of scrapbooking or recording in a baby book worth the result? I really want to know these things. Whatever I do, I just have to realize that it can't be all consuming, there will be other demands on my time, and I can't expect it to be perfect or give it up when it isn't.

Any thoughts?

  May 17, 2008 - 9:14am | mamas

recording memories

Digital memories or paper ones? I'm not sure which is better, but a place for memories and milestones is a must. I loved the baby calender and pictures that my parents kept of me, and looked at it even while growing up. I know that we live in the age of digital cameras, but I think good old fashion photo albums are a must for remembering details. Good luck!