6     March 28, 2008 - 9:50am | akvalleygirl74

Hard decision

We didn't have the option of finding out with my first child for most of the pregnancy, because a decade ago the Elmendorf hospital didn't give ultrasounds unless it was medically necessary. When they were worried about fluid levels at the 8 month mark they did an u/s and asked me if I wanted to know....we looked at each other and said "yes!" and found out it was a girl. By then, much clothing had been purchased that was neutral, but it was sweet mint green and soft yellow clothing, nothing neon (thank goodness!). We bought some cute pink clothes and talked to her using her name, and it worked out fine.

Second pregnancy was twins, and 6 years later so I had very little newborn items left from previous pregnancy. I knew I wanted to be prepared, and I also knew I wanted to have time to adjust to whatever sexes we were pregnant with. (The idea of twin boys petrified me and dh knew this was probably his last chance at having a son, so we both had preferences that might lead to disappointment.) There was no question we wanted to know, and with the amount of u/s I had throughout the problem pregnancy, I had it confirmed over and over and over that we were pregnant with one of each. :D To be able to pat my tummy and know that Abby was kicking Alex, and that Alex had hiccups (AGAIN) which woke his sister, was a thrill I would never do differently.

I have a cousin who is pregnant with their third child. They found out with the first but not with the second, and are prepared (clothing-wise) for both so they are waiting. I am excited for them, and they love the anticipation of not knowing! It really depends on the parents, I think, as to what you should do.

login or register to post comments | flag this »

  5     March 21, 2008 - 11:36pm | brookpester

The fun of waiting

I chose to wait to find out and it made all the difference when he was born! My son was 2 weeks late, I went through 41 hours of labor and I was so upset when I was told I would have to have a c-section, but the anticipation of FINALLY finding out kept me going and made it the most incredible moment despite it being the furthest possible outcome from my expectations! I asked the doctors to let my husband announce the sex and it was so cool to hear it fom him. I had several showers beforehand and probably got more "stuff" than clothes, which is fine becuase they grow out of clothes so fast anyways. The starter clothes we had were mostly neutral and it wasn't anything horrible. If you can hold out... I encourage it... its pretty cool!

login or register to post comments | flag this »

  4     March 15, 2008 - 8:02pm | mommy_morod

Wrong ultrasounds can lead to various issues after birth

My husband and I were expecting our second child in 2006. At 20 wks., like a some expectant parents, we had an ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby. Our doctor was almost as excited as were when she told us we were going to have a girl (since our first child as a boy). Because I had a complicated pregnancy we had 2 ultrasounds after that. We had a babyshower and recieved tons of clothes, furniture and accesories in pink and purple. We talked to our little girl in my tummy nightly and picked out a name. When we went to the hospital (pink diaper bag, pink and purple carseat and frilly little dress in tow) we had a little BOY!! This did not only cause serious damage financially (all of our girl stuff had ben washed in preparation for our baby which made it impossible to return) but it caused a post partum issue of sorts not only for myself but for my husband as well. We had spent 18 1/2 wks (since our 20wk ultrasound) bonding with a little girl named Xondrea now all of a sudden we have this little boy with no name and with whom we had not formed that pre birth bond. Now don't get me wrong we love our son deeply and he was a healthy baby which of course was important, but part of us felt like we had lost one baby and gained another. It was a very surreal experience. We did not even realize that doctors and technicians made those kind of mistakes in this day in age until that happened. We are not the only people we know that this has happened to. We know a woman who this happened to that recieved er ultrasounds at ANMC where as mine were done at a private physicians office as well as at Providence. This other woman suffered from issues after birth as well only hers were more severe than mine. In short if we have anther baby we would opt not to "know" the sex of our baby until after birth. Because as hard as it may be for some women to dress thier little girls in orange and green, the effects of bonding with the baby you think you are having only to have an entirely different one can be far more upsetting.

login or register to post comments | flag this »

  3     March 14, 2008 - 4:54pm | Beth_451

The ultrasound could be misleading!

I think it would be fun to wait too, but since I will probably have an ultrasound, and won't want the technician to know what I don't know, I'll probably find out early, and that's fun too. We have friends who at 20 weeks learned that their baby was going to be a boy. Now, at 30 weeks, they just learned that, Nope, it's going to be a girl! This wouldn't be so bad, except that everyone jumped on the gender bandwagon using "Jacob's" name to scrapbook a baby book (to be filled out later), buy clothes, decorate the nursery, and the dad used "Jacob's" name publicly until everyone was familiar with it. Now that we know that it's an "Elizabeth" that's coming, it all seems a little weird. I feel like something should be held back a little bit. Maybe the name should have been announced after the birth?

I plan to talk to my tummy, decorate a nursery, buy baby clothes and necessary items, crochet baby booties, and maybe even have a shower before the baby is born, but I don't think that I'll make gender so important that everything hinges on it. Besides, cribs, car seats, changing tables, strollers, etc. will probably all need to be used for subsequent babies and should be genderless anyway and onesies, diapers, rash ointment, lotion, most blankets, and some sleepers are genderless anyway. A nursery can be set up and fully stocked without knowing the gender, but it might make it more fun to know it.

login or register to post comments | flag this »

  2     March 14, 2008 - 2:42pm | euro_smash

as an "outsider",

(aka not being pregnant or ever having been), I think it would be fun to wait for a surprise. I try not to subscribe to gender stereotypes clothing-wise or toys-wise, so I think it would give everyone an opportunity to open their minds to treating baby boys and baby girls the same. And that way, you can pick out favourite girls AND boys names and be prepared for either one!
But who knows, when I'm in that position, maybe I'll change my mind too.

login or register to post comments | flag this »

  1     March 11, 2008 - 9:05pm | ximi2003

Can you wait 9 months?

Me and my cousin's wife were pregnant at the same time they chose not to find out the gender, and bought two of every outfit one blue one pink. But me and my husband wanted to know and after the doctor said the baby was fine he told us we were having a boy. I loved the feeling of knowing and being able to look for just the perfect name for our son. I know that everyone is different but I say in this day and age if we can know Why not? It gave me time to pick out the big items like the crib, bassenet, stroller, and blankets. And whenever I saw something cute that I wanted I bought it instead of saying oh no because what if its a girl. In the end the real question for you is will you be able to wait till birth ? I know I wouldnt but like I said my cousin and wife did.

login or register to post comments | flag this »