For Bridesmaids Dresses: If you can find the color in a bag of Skittles, it's probably a fruity dress

Posted by brideblog

Posted: January 28, 2008 - 10:08 am

“Aren’t these bridesmaid dresses great?! You can shorten them and wear them again!” This quote was the resounding theme from “27 Dresses,” which I saw this weekend under mild protest. I was not planning on seeing this movie, at least not on the big screen. My friend Karen convinced me it would be good “research” for my blog. So I braced myself for the high dosage of estrogen and made plans to see “There Will be Blood” the following night for cinematic balance.

How was "27 Dresses?" Not bad! I was surprised to be so amused by what I pre-judged as a corny, clichéd wedding-genre chic-flick with lots of pink. I don’t know why I liked it! Was it because I just picked out bridesmaids dresses and am currently in the throws of my own wedding-genre reality show? Was it because there was a great sing-along bar scene to the tune of “Benny and the Jets,” a classic!...? Maybe! Plus, the over-the-top plot was acted out sincerely by characters that remind you every bit of someone you know. I could especially relate to poor Jane, played by Katherine Heigl, who has for her entire life, bent over backwards for her younger, lovely, self-centered and selfish sister. (It’s okay. Everyone knows how selfish my sister is, including my sister.)

There were some bust-a-gut funny parts and one-liners that added up to a delightful movie. There was a balance of healthy cynicism with hopeless romanticism. And there were some good morals of the story too. Karen and I discussed the Bridesmaid Karma factor, which could also be referred to as the bridesmaid’s revenge. Recently, I took a quick poll of friends and co-workers asking them “Who should choose the bridesmaid’s dress?” Traditionally, it’s the bride. But the bridesmaid is the one who has to wear it and pay for it. Then there’s the camp who believes that the bride should pick the dress because it’s her day, and as a bridesmaid, you suck it up for your friend on her special wedding say. Over the years, wedding lore has suggested that there are brides out there who would INTENTIONALLY make their “ladies in waiting” look less desirable, dare I say “frumpy,” just to enhance their own appearance and beauty. Shocking, isn’t it! One of my co-workers shared with me a bridesmaid horror story when she had to wear a "wine colored satin" dress, complete with big, poufy sleeves and a big bow on the rear end. Of course she had to wear the shoes dyed with the same wine-satin color. And those shoes are never re-useable. To her credit, this is the same woman who said you suck it up for the bride, so I give her extra points.

We can only hope brides who fit us into wine colored satin dresses with bows on the derrieres get a chance to serve their time in “the taffeta ghetto.” I never realized the group psychology dynamics within the bridal party until I saw this movie. An ugly dress by itself looks ugly. We would all point and say, “What an ugly dress.” But somehow, seeing multiple ugly dresses all at once somehow makes the ugly dress socially acceptable. Because hey! Other people are wearing it! This is a slippery slope, my friends. If your bride asks you to jump off a bridge for an action wedding photo, would you do it if all the other bridesmaids were doing it?

I have a hard time with the whole Bridezilla thing. Just because it’s “your special day,” doesn’t give you permission to morph into this demanding, micromanaging monster of a person who takes advantage of family, fiancé and friends. Coercing your bridesmaids to dress like the cast of “Oklahoma” for your wedding theme is not okay. Maybe this attitude is the result of inbreeding the attitude that “your wedding is the most important day of your life.” It’s an important day and hopefully, a memorable day (in a good way), but to say that it is THEE most important day is short-sighted in my opinion. The days following your wedding might be pretty important, like when you give birth to your first child, buy your first house, celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary… I think those days are just as important. Maybe more so.

Not to say that this wedding planning business is easy! But in the big picture, the wedding day is the easy part. Keeping the marriage strong is going to be the demanding part.

Another moral of the story, besides what comes around goes around, is don’t let your sister be in charge of anything. I already knew that. One of the more surprising one-liners was, “Oh, snap!” which came not from the movie but from the audience, when the gloves came off between the main character, Jane, and her sister.

I have already informed my sister that I would love for her to be my maid of honor and if she wanted to make a toast, that would be lovely. But it has to be before cocktails are served, and it should be pre-recorded so we can review it together and then she can lip-sync along with the tape at the reception. I love my sister. Blood is thicker than water, right? But blood can leave a stain for a long, long time. If that sounds like foul play, it’s not what I meant. Really. And for the record, it's not that she's got any more dirt on me than I do on her. She just enjoys being funny more than she does being decent and nice and respectful. But I love her and always will. By the way, I’m using you all as alibis.

I hope my friends like the bridesmaids dress I picked out. I’d like to think they will wear it again. At least they’ll be able to make a lovely throw pillow with it.

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