Part II of Issue #1 Wedding Dresses: A Christmas Miracle!

Posted by brideblog

Posted: January 4, 2008 - 1:17 pm

How does the saying go? “Life is what happens while you’re busy planning it”…? I had a chance to go dress-shopping with my mom while we were visiting family over the holidays. First of all, we went the day after Christmas. Who goes shopping for a wedding dress the day after a holiday!!? Especially a holiday that revolves around eating your weight in butter and sugar! The thought of putting on a dress, let alone multiple dresses, after gorging myself the day before was hard enough to stomach. But get this: The bridal shop was busy! The one free day my mom and I had during the “holidaze” was the day after Christmas, so we had to take what we could get and make the best of it.

I’m not sure if the saying above translates exactly, but what transpired that day was a Christmas miracle. And none of it was in the “plan.” All I was really hoping for was some quality mother/daughter bonding. I was not expecting to find a dress, and I certainly was not planning on buying a dress. If all my mom and I accomplished was to get a feel for the kind of dress-fit I liked and have a few good laughs and colorful people watching, then that would have been a perfect afternoon in my mind. I bet if I was on a mission to buy a dress, I’m not sure that we’d have been so lucky. The stars were aligned for us in a haphazard sort of way.

We went to David’s Bridal, in Aurora, Illinois, about 30 minutes west of Chicago. Like I mentioned earlier, it was packed when we walked in and there was a 30 minute wait for a dressing room. That was an extra 30 minutes to digest the Christmas cookies I had for breakfast, so that was just fine with me. My mom and I had not spent a lot of one-on-one time talking about the wedding up to this point, because of distance, and because well, she wouldn’t bring it up, and I didn’t want to bring it up if she didn’t want to talk about it. I’ve heard about mothers out there who basically take charge of everything, from the guest list to the music selection. Thankfully, my mom has taken the more hands-off approach, almost to a fault. It’s just like when she dropped me off for college. When all the other kids’ parents were making plans to take their newly enrolled freshman to lunch, or even making hotel reservations to spend the weekend, my mom and grandpa, God bless them, drove me up to campus, helped me bring my stuff up to my new dorm room, and basically said, “Have fun! See you later!” The other kids on the floor were antsy to wrap up blubbery goodbyes with their families and start college life, and meanwhile, I was thinking but would never admit it, “Hey, wait up! Come back! Ok, I’ll see you at Thanksgiving…?....” I later found out that my mom and Grandpa hugged and cried when they got back to the car.

I adore my family; we’re just weird when it comes to hard emotions. I’m the first-born of two girls, and I’m starting to learn how weddings bring to the surface all these weird emotions and family dynamics.

The dress shopping was definitely one of those things. My mom and I found a seat on one of four crowded and floral-printed couches and paged through a David’s Bridal catalogue, earmarking the dresses to ask for in my size and making fun of the other dresses. But I have to be more careful! No sooner had we mocked a hideoderous dress, than the girl in the next dressing stall was trying it on. “Sorry! It looks good on you though… ”

We had a lot of laughs, most of them inappropriate, and by the time our saleswoman brought us the selected dresses, we were in high spirits. NOTE: When dress shopping, be sure to wear nude underwear. I must have subconsciously registered that from “America’s Next Top Model.” I did not, however, remember to where nude stockings. Alas, my pink and blue striped knee socks just didn’t match with anything. We picked out some pretty dresses, but how they looked on the hanger and how they looked on me were two totally different sides of the Looking Glass. The first dress I tried on was awful. Hooks, ties, strapless and too tight… I was exhausted before I even had the thing all the way on and felt like Houdini trying to get it off. The second dress I tried on zipped up. Yeah, points for having it fit! The make and the cut felt really nice. The design was pretty without being too boring or too busy. It was just right, and it was within my budget. I tried on a few more dresses after that, and each one increasingly confirmed the second one as the winner. I must have tried on six or seven within an hour or so and felt good with the second choice. After all, we didn’t want to be there all day, and it was just a wedding dress. It’s not going to cure cancer.

Earlier, we happened to spot a bridesmaid’s dress that we liked, even before the wedding dress decision was made. Our saleswoman brought the bridesmaid dress over, and we held it to the wedding dress… and they looked nice! How often do women have their bridesmaids dress picked out before their own?! With a slight color alteration to the bridesmaid’s sash, they would work swimmingly. Wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses in under three hours: CHECK! I wasn’t going to buy the dress then and there, but after talking about it and getting a pre-sale discount (which was nice), it seemed like a good idea to buy the dress and be done with it. NOTE: Be sure to ask when doing your own dress shopping if there are any upcoming sales. If you ask the sales rep nicely, and he or she is nice, you might get it at the sale price. Next, the seamstress visited us about alterations, so I tried the dress back on for her. The good news was that I had room in the gut area for consuming all the dates wrapped in bacon in the world. The bad news is that I was still 4’10” and no heel was going to save me from the expenses of hemming and possibly moving appliqués around. With a few cha-ching$, the dress was now out of budget.

I decided to wait and check out what was in Anchorage or online. My mom asked me if I liked the dress. I said yes. She said I looked beautiful. I said, “Oh my gosh, thanks Mom.” That’s when she said she’d treat for the dress if we could cover the alterations. Are you kidding me? That’s when we both started crying. We hugged, I told her how much I missed her, we cried some more. Lots of “I love you’s” and “let’s always stay close” were exchanged. It was soggy and sentimental, and probably one of the most tender moments I’ve had with my mom in my adult-life.

I’ve heard other stories from friends about dress shopping with their moms. In one recent shopping excursion, the bride-to-be was trying on dress after dress, and her mom wasn’t really giving any feedback. Nicole gently called her mom on it, asking her to be honest and say what she thinks because how else will she know what looks good. Her mom replied, “It’s just that you’re getting married.” And then she started to cry. Then Nicole started to cry. Then there was lots of hugging. And that about sums it up for me.

Whether it’s with your mom, your grandma, your good friend, your sister, or your hair dresser, I think every bride-to-be needs that good cry while dress shopping. Because hey, “You’re getting married!”

Are there any online shopping success stories out there? Another bride-to-be blogger was considering online shopping for the better price. I think this can work, but I would highly recommend going in person at least once to spend an hour or two trying on dresses with someone who can be honest with you, and who can give you a big hug when it’s all over.

David’s Bridal is great, by the way. They were very nice, and I didn’t even MENTION that I wield the ePen as a host of a wedding blog. Because they are a national chain, they would be able to conveniently accommodate my bridesmaids who did not live in the area, kinda like me. There’s one in Anchorage too, so I had the option of ordering the dress to be delivered to Anchorage. Logistically speaking, the Aurora store worked out better to place my order. My mom generously offered to pick it up and hold onto it, and the next time we’re in town, possibly over the summer, I’ll bring in the dress for alterations. Then, they’ll hold onto the dress until the wedding in October. I love the fact that I don’t have to worry about moving it around or having anything happen to it while traveling.

I did have to worry about the punk kids playing leapfrog between the dressing room pedestals and the dress hangers. That’s when ordering a new dress sounded like a good idea. I’d post a picture of the dress, but that wouldn’t be fair to Brian, who isn’t allowed to see it.

Please feel free to post your wedding dress photos (after the wedding of course).

xxxooo,
Marlena I'm Not a Wedding Planner, Just Planning a Wedding Wojcik

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