AUGUST 14, 2007 - 1:27 PM
M.SCULLY found the sweet spot with a caption that was both a snug fit for the drawing and a sharp delineation of the Mayor's problem. Begich, as artful and sharp a politician as I have encountered in Alaska, may well have a story that explains away the unsavory appearance of yet another respected Alaska elected official with a real estate problem. But that fishy odor will linger and linger and linger.
Meanwhie, lingering on the site of the McClatchy Washington D.C. bureau, the new round in the national national cartoon caption contest is up and ready for you.
AUGUST 7, 2007 - 6:01 PM
DARRYL DAVIS of Anchorage squeezed the above gem in ahead of a bumper crop of strong captions. Also contending were dandy contributions from Mary Sommers, Steve Gruhn, and Cowboy Vern. Not to mention the nicely crafted, multi-stanza parody of Puff the Magic Dragon.
But it was Davis who summed up the dignity, the grace and the sense of public spirit that rules the GOP establishment in Alaska.
A party now dancing to a relentless drumbeat of names both prominent and obscure that have come under investigation. The state senator and the Attorney General driven from office for conflict of interest, the party head with the record ethics fine, the less than mysterious "Senator B", the convicted state representative, the revered U.S. Senator who can't comment on the FBI investigation, the junior senator who knew better than to do the dubious land deal, then did (and undid) it anyway, The Congressman for all Alaska, parts of Florida and even the Marianas Islands.
JULY 31, 2007 - 6:39 PM
The Kasilof Krusher, SANDY MATTHEWS found an elegant way to connect the airport security setting to Senator Stevens' current predicament.
We don't have the facts to say that Stevens is in serious legal jeopardy, we don't even know what the FBI believes it may charge him with.
But it is clear to just about everyone but Ted that using the confessed perp of the state's most notorious bribery scandal to handle your money results in tarnish. And that tarnish should set off alarms.
And consider that, as a supervisor of Veco's finances in the 80's, Bill Allen racked up record fines for campaign finance violations. It has to be asked if using him to take care of of the Senator's dough was even a good idea from a strictly financial viewpoint. Wouldn't you want someone with a better track record handling your money?
JUNE 26, 2007 - 4:47 PM
She was ruthless; and now, sadly, we are.
Mary Minor boiled the Ruth question down to a paradoxical epitaph, with a well-placed pun that puts an edge on the honor. No, she wasn't perfect, but if Tony can have the coastal trail, then Ruth is worthy of the town square.
Name that 'Toon will take the Month of July off. I'll be heading to the high latitudes to see if the other side of the North Pole is melting, too.
In the meantime, be sure to catch our mock interview of Mark Begich,
here where you can find it by clicking on the Curmudgeon icon.
JUNE 19, 2007 - 2:28 PM
New process for making sweet butter out of sour milk promoted by Governor Palin.
CHRIS ZAFREN of Anchorage edges past the competition with imagination and Whimsy. Churning butter while it's still in the cow... absurdity and inspiration at work there.
Kudos also to Leo Wassilie and Chuck Hoehn for succinct and stinging contributions this week.
What a difference a new Governor makes! If Frank had been dissed by the Dairy board, so many of us would have bought Alaska dairy products to signal our support, the whole financial issue would have been moo-t.
(sorry)
See you next week,
JUNE 12, 2007 - 5:43 PM
Gator Cleans Congressional Ear...
Congressional Finger Otherwise Occupied!
MIKE ROGERS, of Anchorage captured the seamy flavor of the cozy exchange of economic intimacies between our Congressman and a Florida real-estate developer.
Mike is obviously a thorough reader of the paper, as his entry refers to a point deep in the story when Young directs an obscene gesture at a reporter on the floor of the House.
Come to think of it, bestowing a multi-million earmark that just happens to massively benefit a contributer to one's campaign has an obscene quality of its own.
To quote Curmudgeon, our campaign finance system "Would make a hyena puke."
JUNE 5, 2007 - 6:17 PM
Last Tuesday We pitched you all the idea of "Corrupt Bastards, the Musical". You guys smacked a home run right out of the theater! (mixed metaphors can be fun.)
There was so much hilarious and biting satire that we decided to publish more than our customary three captions in the print edition and share the wealth with those who don’t get to the Name that ‘Toon page on the Web.
An entry that stuck out was Rick Bray’s cobbling together of a wide variety of genres to come up with an entire program for the imaginary event. Add in the inspiration of Brian Dollerhide and the deft craftsmanship of Mary Minor, punctuate with lots of zingers from all the rest, and we've got a classic edition of NTT.
MAY 29, 2007 - 6:31 PM
"Are you still looking for ethics violators for management positions?"
The lucid lunacy of JAMES CHANN is this week's choice. James' inspired absurd concept seems so right for a drawing that needed a way to link the two panels that was both surprising and convincing. I was surprised. I was convinced.
For anybody headed to Fairbanks in the Month of June, be sure to check out the exhibit Cartoon North . Nuggets cartoonist Jaime Smith has done an outstanding job of collecting more Alaska-related cartoons than you can shake an icicle at.
MAY 22, 2007 - 4:04 PM
If this doesn't work, maybe I can throw some pork their way, or better yet, we'll stuff a little more money in the Permanent Fund
--------------------------------
Laugh!... Flinch!... Laugh!... Flinch!... That's how it went as I trolled this week's captions. A great bunch of contributions, especially given that no new indictments surfaced to inspire the cartooning muse. The more I thought it over, the more I liked RICK BRAY's caption for going beyond disgust with politicians, and laying a share of the blame on the voters.
It takes two to do the Masochism Tango, and the voters (and the non-voters) are unindicted co-conspirators in the mess we're in. Some of these people have been reelected so often with so much weighing against them, you can almost forgive them for thinking that nobody cared.
MAY 15, 2007 - 7:15 PM
MARY MINOR's brutal yet elegant tweak of Don Young's retort to sugestions that his bridge money be diverted to Hurricane Katrina relief comes in a snout ahead of fierce competition.
Hot on her heels were the cash cow, the cross-dressing pig, and Ernie Helton's witty implied reference to "Pygmalion"
What a musical we could put on, the mind reels! Here are some ideas for the Broadway smash "Porkmalion"...
"I've grown acustomed to her Waste"
"The Street Where You Lived (is now an off-ramp.)
"Just you wait, 'Enry Springer..."
"The Money From KABATA Falls Mainly in the Watah".
The part of Alfie Doolittle would go to Young, George Wuerch would be a serviceable Col. Pickering. Freddy? Mayor Mark, of course. And naturally, we have Sarah in the role of Eliza.
MAY 8, 2007 - 7:13 PM
And you thought it would get dull when Frank went away. Not on my watch, baby! This whole sick, sorry mess leaves us one thing to be grateful for- we have our work cut out for us.
By the way, anybody know what became of Cowboy? I'm starting to worry about him.
MAY 1, 2007 - 6:14 PM
Whose line is it anyway?
Leo Wassile, Anchorage
Hop on board Sarah and we'll sell the place out!
Chuck Hoehn, Haines
Yoo Hoo boys! It's my way or the 'highway'!
Clayton Awe, Anchorage
The three entries that we're featuring this week are interesting in that when you put them together you have a rough summary of why it's so tough to put a gas deal together.
Leo's deft "Whose line..." caption both fits the cartoon snugly and captures the critical interest both sides see in this project. Huge risk and reward are at stake, for both Alaska and the oil companies.
Chuck Hoehn's clever use of the phrase "Sell Out" puts us all on notice that the producing companies are in this business to make money for their upper managem... uh, correction, stockholders, and that Alaskans will have to be equally resourceful to fashion an acceptable agreement.
APRIL 24, 2007 - 3:04 PM
Annnnnnnnnd the distinguished Mr. Leo Wassilie, takes the vote out on a high note with an agile flip of the quarter into Board of Game territory.
And just to show he was on a roll (of quarters! RIMSHOT!)He simultanously tagged tourists on the way. Both ears and the tale to Mr. Wassilie!
(In case you were wondering, in addition to National Poetry Month, it's also National Tom Lehrer reference month.)
Thanks to everyone who sent their captions. I was cracking up all week whenever I signed in to look at the page.
See you Tuesday,
Pete
APRIL 17, 2007 - 6:07 PM
The Pride of Kasilof, SANDY MATTHEWS turned out a caption that was as irresistible to the voters as federal pork. Sandy continues to be a crucial contributor to Alaska's underdeveloped humor infrastructure.
Sure, parts of the state have up-to- the-minute humor facilities that can match anything found in the South 48 (Haines comes to mind.) But much of Alaska must still making do with slapstick and potty humor. Or in the case of Wasilla, both. Sewage bubbles from the sky?? EWWW!
Thanks to all that waded in and did their part.
I'm somewhat underwhelmed by the response we are getting to the opportunity to vote on the entries. The hope was to offer a way for you all out there to recognize what you found worthy, instead of leaving it the Powers that be here at ADN.
APRIL 10, 2007 - 4:12 PM
Well, it was a another Name that 'Toon down-to-the-wire thriller, crackling with suspense and finishing with a bizarre twist. TIM KELLEY, whipped past both TIM KELLEY and TIM KELLEY, to finish first, second, and third.
With the ferocity of a Chugach Wolverine chewing Bob Bell's arm off, Tim annihilated... no, "annihilated" is the wrong word...
Tim OBLITERATED the comp... no that's not right, either...
Wait! I've got it: Tim SCIENTIFICALLY MANAGED this week's contest with a ruthless savagery that both the Wolverines and the Game Board could applaud.
If the guy could draw, I'd be in deep trouble. Uh... you can't draw, right Tim?
APRIL 3, 2007 - 5:19 PM
The Entries piled up impressively this week. And high up at the top, amid the vanishing ozone, was a devastating ironic gem from SEAN MANEY, of Anchorage.
Sean brilliantly melded the fate of the bear and the egg with crafty use of the words "poached" and "fried".
Great work, Sean!
The rest of us will stew in envy until next Tuesday, when, as if by magic, a brand new drawing will boldly go forth in search of a caption.
I wait with 'bated breath,
Pete
aka "The Toon Goon", "Poison Penhead", "The Line Swine", "The Grin Reaper", "The Ink Fink", "The Dean of Mean", and "Moriarty's Eviler Twin".
MARCH 27, 2007 - 5:14 PM
Let's welcome back the the nimble wordsmith LEO WASSILIE to the Winner's circle. Leo, as usual, put together a darned clever interpretation on drawing that seemed to me especially resistant to mortal comprehension.
The idea of interpretation just raised a frightening thought: God help all of us if some psychiatry grad student turns their attention to our little enterprise. "Vould you care to exshplain all ziss scatological imagery? No? zen perhaps zis jet fixation..., I'll say a vord, und you tell me vhat is first word you think of... Ready?... 'Jet'... *sigh*... Zo, already we're back to the scatological..."
MARCH 20, 2007 - 5:33 PM
THE WINNER IS MIKE HUSA, OF BETHEL.
Mixing politics with wishing upon a star and a wishing well was a winning combination this week. Maybe voters remembered their youthful days listening to Jiminy Crickett sing the song in a Disney movie. Or maybe they just liked the image of wishing for a gas line. Either way, Mike's entry took top honors in close balloting.
MARCH 13, 2007 - 3:22 PM
The winner is Rick Bray of Cordova. A nice mix of humor and political cynicism at the former governor's frequent use of state aircraft for he and his wife.
MARCH 6, 2007 - 5:40 PM
BRIAN MAGUIRE takes the top spot this week with a nicely ironic twist to his caption. Brian lives in Tualatin, Oregon, which means Alaska has a bright new product to export: Bufoonery!
We ship it South, where they turn it into humor, and ship it back.
Good deal for us!
And, speaking of good deals, there is yet another installment of Curmudgeon now running wild. To get this intrepid canine's hard-barking expose of a shameful Iditarod cover-up, follow this link.
And let's welcome "The Other Tim Kelley" back from the slam, where he didn't have internet access... at least that's his excuse.
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