Uncle Sam Saves the 'Net

You’re a leader of a communications company. You are successful.
You have invested hundreds of millions of dollars into creating an incredibly fast and efficient Internet network.

Having invested so much money, you want to give priority to your customers -- since they’re actually paying for your service. You may even charge top dollar to customers who want the fastest internet service (yes, they’ll spend it). On occasion, you may slow down the service of a potential-competitor (Google, for instance) who is parasitically living off you (After all, such companies don’t invest money in the infrastructure).

Because you are in competition with other communication companies, you will continue to invest in new network technologies. The other communications companies will do the same. This competition will perpetually birth new technologies. All internet users will benefit.

Then one day a guy named Uncle Sam marches into your office. “Hey!” he yaps. “I’m implementing a thing called ‘Net Neutrality.’ Catchy title, aint it?”

“Um, sure… What’s this all about?” you ask.

“I’m comin’ to save the internet!” Sam cries (you half expect him to lasso your computer).

“Oh goody…” you intone. “What, dear uncle, does Net Neutrality mean for me?”

Sam puffs out his chest. “By order of me, you’re gonna let everyone use your internet network. Doesn’t matter who or what. You can no longer give priority to your customers.”

“Whoa… Wait,” you say, barely believing what you heard. “I’ve invested hundreds of millions of dollars to create a superior internet service. And now you’re saying that I have to give non-customers – even competitors – the exact same priority on my networks?”

Sam chews on this for a moment... “Yep,” he quips. “You could say that. I’m redistributing the net!”

“But, that will drive down innovation,” you say. “No company will invest in new technology if you’re going to take away the incentive to innovate.”

“Say who?” Sam snaps.

“Millions of Americans and dozens of organizations, Sam -- from the IBEW, to the Federal Trade Commission, to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. All these groups understand that “Net Neutrality” will seriously hurt the economy.” (http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-10128169-38.html?tag=mncol;txt, http://news.cnet.com/8301-10784_3-9736506-7.html)

Uncle Sam shrugs. “Well, I guess a couple organizations will take a hit. C’est la vie.”

“Wow.” You shake your head in disbelief. This guy doesn’t have a clue about economics…

You change tactics.

“Let’s look at this from a user perspective,” you say. “Ever heard of New York or San Francisco?”

“The promised lands,” Sam sighs.

“Well, Sam, in those cities, the users – the people – are complaining about their sloth- paced internet service.”

“Well, ya,” Sam bellows. “That’s because AT&T and other communications companies are slowing down the traffic.”

“Actually no.”

“No?”

“Nope.”

Sam raises his brows. “Ok, hotshot, then tell me why.”

“Well, Uncle, it is because there are so many Iphones in those cities, and now the internet is being flooded.”

(http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB125329467451823485-lMyQjAxMDI5NTIzMjIyOTI0Wj.html)

“And how does this concern Net Neutrality?” Sam yawns.

“Well, dear Uncle, if you force our company to allow any and all internet users onto the fast lane of our network, the level of service will plummet. Everyone will suffer -- all because the internet will become so… pathetic.”

“Well,” Sam smiles. “It’ll all be ok. Those communications companies will invent or innovate better technology that will make way for all the new internet traffic.”

“Haven’t your heard what I just told you!” you cry. (Uncle Sam seems to suffer from poor hearing. And thinking…) “We, the communications companies, will stop innovating, stop creating, because there is absolutely no incentive to do so!”

“Um… why?” Sam seems genuinely perplexed.

“Because you’ll take any new technology away from us!”

“Hhhhmmm,” Sam is thoughtful for a brief moment… “Well,” he brightens. “At least there’s one bright spot to all of this.”

“And what is that?”

“I may hurt the economy and consumer… which is terrible, just terrible… But at least I’ll finally have some control over that wild internet.”

“Ya, something tells me that is your ultimate goal.”

“You’re a smart little thing,” Sam says, patting your head. “Now, I expect your company's management report on my desk by morning.”