Shake some turkey legs
Thanksgiving is over. How do you feel? Tired? Lazy? Regretful? Sounds like the way you feel after a late night out dancing, right? But dancing might just be the best cure for a leftover turkey weekend. Well, at least it burns calories.
Every nightlifer at some point gets the urge to shake their groove thing and spout the phrase "Let's go dancing!" from liquor-ish lips. I am usually this person; and I'm usually met with vicious eye-rolls. But why not give in and boogie when the fever takes you? Last weekend I went to Platinum Jaxx (901 W. Sixth Ave., 278-5299, www.platinumjaxx.com) to do just that. And, I promptly realized why I don't do it all the time. There's a reason we celebrate Thanksgiving once a year, and there's a reason a night out dancing isn't an every-weekend affair.
Why? Because excess, of any kind, is not meant to be done in excess. Thanksgiving is a day of serious eating, the likes of which most of us rarely attempt outside of the holiday season. At no other time is it OK to eat a dozen Pillsbury crescent rolls in one day.
Dancing is excessive in effort -- planning your apparel beforehand, worrying about sweat stains and trying to see how low you can actually go -- and it's a sensation smorgasboard. When the music is right, there are songs that make you dance right where you are: in line, on someone's lap, wherever. There are swanky, glittery people of the opposite sex everywhere. There are quick bartenders and shots so you don't have to carry a drink onto the floor.
At the turkey table, there are always side dishes that kind of make you lose your appetite and you secretly wish would disappear. At the club? There's always that couple grinding next to you, making you feel uncomfortable for looking and indignant because you can't help but look.
And during Thanksgiving there's usually that relative you hardly know who tells the same story; the one you make unnecessary bathroom trips to avoid. That person's on the dance floor too, in a bolo tie and an '80s haircut, giving you the eye as he works his impression of the Butabi brothers from "Saturday Night Live."
So really, we shouldn't attempt activities of excess -- gravy-ing and grooving -- too often, because after the initial gluttonous glee the after-effects kick in: The sweats, the slight feeling of nausea, the urge to lie down and sleep it all away.
Still, if we didn't already have a holiday designated for eating, we'd probably invent one. And I will never fight the overwhelming desire to put on a shiny top and twist and shout to some bumping tunes. Sometimes we simply need to indulge excesses as a release from the limitations in our lives. Just remember, you have to have time to build something up before you can let go, whether it's your belt or a new dance move.
-- by Jessica Bowman