Hello mothers and mothers-to-be! This blog focuses on pregnancy, childbirth, children, and parenting. Along with providing helpful information and resources, it is also a place to discuss choices and trends in these areas. The blog will inform and encourage mothers as we share and learn from each other. It is not a place to say that one opinion is better than another; instead it is a forum for camaraderie and for sharing personal experiences. So feel free to read, respond, and absorb information on a daily basis as together we traverse this world of motherhood.
Laura Tolman is a local certified childbirth educator and labor support professional. She also works as a postpartum doula. She and her husband are long time Alaskans and are the parents and forming relationships with families while learning about other cultures. In her free time Laura enjoys writing freelance articles, poetry, and the performing arts. Her favorite pastime is being with family and coaxing uproarious laughter out of her young son.
Meet mothers in your area or around the world.
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The Chronic Whiner - 8/6/2008 10:55 pm
Last month of pregnancy - 8/1/2008 10:41 pm
Baby’s sleeping arrangements - 7/21/2008 11:02 pm
How many children? - 7/16/2008 11:38 pm
Go For the Full 40 - 7/11/2008 11:41 pm
Dream of Numbers - 7/7/2008 11:23 pm
Happy 4th of July - 7/4/2008 9:18 pm
Dealing with an Unexpected Birth Outcome - 7/1/2008 10:02 am
Another Breastfeeding Benefit - 6/25/2008 10:16 pm
Affirmations and Birth - 6/22/2008 10:53 pm
Inductions and the Bishop Score - 6/14/2008 5:03 pm
Pelvic Floor Muscle Myth - 6/8/2008 12:01 am
Mom, the Ultimate Multi-tasker - 6/3/2008 10:00 pm
Mommy and Baby Separation - 5/29/2008 10:00 pm
Open Blog - 5/18/2008 4:30 pm
How long to exclusively breastfeed? - 5/15/2008 4:56 pm
The “Business of Being Born” Review - 5/13/2008 8:32 am
The Name Game - 5/11/2008 10:02 pm
Just a Mom? - 5/9/2008 9:45 pm
Mental Snapshots - 5/8/2008 12:43 pm
Dogs and Babies - 5/5/2008 10:11 pm
Heartburn Horrors - 5/4/2008 12:18 am
AUGUST 6, 2008 - 10:55 PM
The Chronic Whiner
One thing that most people do not have tolerance for is a child who whines loudly and continuously in public. This is the kind of situation that you naively figure you won’t have to deal with because your own sweet children would not behave in such a way. Then one day, you find yourself out somewhere with your own small person who has ultimately decided that whining is the only method of communication on the planet, and they must perfect the art.
My own son is still under two and doesn’t have as many words as an older child does, but that does not excuse the behavior in my mind. So my husband and I got on the same page and decided to work on this problem that has suddenly reared its whiney head. I am stubborn in nature and the key is to not give in. Whining that leads to a tantrum is not going to sway me. I may not be a parenting expert, but it seems obvious to me that giving a child what they want just to make them stop whining only encourages future negative behavior.
AUGUST 1, 2008 - 10:41 PM
Some people think that it is crazy to continue working throughout your pregnancy. Others consider it normal to work up until the date that you deliver your new baby. I think that there are a lot of factors to consider when making the decision of when to take maternity leave, quit a job, or return to work. Also the current FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) law allows for 12 weeks off from work and some moms do not want to dip into that until the baby is born.
Obviously some jobs are going to be more stressful than others. We now know that the affects of stress on a mother and unborn child, are tangible and detrimental to their health. Also, I believe that it is important to take a rest prior to your due date so that your body will have the energy that it needs to labor efficiently. Some financial situations to do not make this decision easy, but it is worth thinking through.
JULY 21, 2008 - 11:02 PM
How long should a baby room in with parents? Is co-sleeping okay? When will they sleep through the night on their own? These are all great questions with a vast array of answers. You will get everything from the very medical viewpoint to your parent’s “this is how we always did it” routine. There are also some newer, more natural approaches to night time situations.
Once again, I must encourage you to do the research yourself and to make decisions based on the unique qualities of your family dynamics and your child. Granted, perhaps there are parents who need to be told how to rear their children, but for the most part many people feel trapped into utilizing whichever methods they are being pressured to use.
JULY 16, 2008 - 11:38 PM
The big question is…..dunnn dunnn dun da…..how many children do you want to have? I’m still surprised at the variety of responses that people give when asked this question. Not that my mind is fully made up for my own family, but I have a general idea. A large number of people are quite content to have one child, while others feel that it would be unfair to that child to not have at least one other sibling. Recently, this question came up in a childbirth class I was teaching and the immediate response of one couple was that they wanted at least six children while the other couple seemed that they would prefer a much smaller number.
JULY 11, 2008 - 11:41 PM
Is it okay to have a baby prior to 38 weeks in utero? Consider this information recently reported that states “If slightly early birth sounds like no big deal, consider: A baby's brain at 35 weeks weighs only two-thirds of what it will weigh at 40 weeks, says a dramatic "brain card" developed by the March of Dimes to educate women. Some will catch up fine, while others have learning or behavioral delays. Also, being even a few weeks early can cause initial breathing problems if lungs aren't mature enough; feeding problems; even an increased risk of SIDS. "Most women are not really aware of how two to three weeks can make a big difference in the full development of the baby," says March of Dimes President Dr.
JULY 7, 2008 - 11:23 PM
It just so happened that my mother was over visiting, when it came time to put my son to bed. So mommy, and daddy and grandma were all saying their individual goodnights to him. She is a teacher and has been for a long time, so I should have expected what she said to come out, but it still took me by surprise to hear her say “…and dream of animals, and whales, and NUMBERS!”. She said it so exuberantly and with genuine sincerity. I just burst out laughing. We were all calming this child down for bed and saying soothing words and it sounded so odd to hear grandma exclaim “dream of numbers!”
JULY 4, 2008 - 9:18 PM
Hello moms and moms to be! I hope you are all having a wonderful 4th of July weekend. It's important to celebrate life moments together with your children and make memories even while they are young. There's something about traditions, adventures, and plain ol'fashion family times that will resonate in a child's heart through to adult hood.
Share what memories or traditions stand out to you, from your childhood.
JULY 1, 2008 - 10:02 AM
Experts in the birthing field will tell you to leave room for the unexpected, but nothing is more difficult to prepare for. Here are some of the unexpected outcomes which parents may face:
• Inaccurate ultrasound confirmation of the gender of the baby
• The need for medical interventions that were not planned
• Long, painful labor in which the routine pain relieving techniques did not work
• Malposition of the baby (breech, acynclitic, persistent posterior)
• Ruptured membranes (water breaks) without the onset of labor
• Preterm labor and birth
• A baby with problems that require special attention or time in the NICU
JUNE 25, 2008 - 10:16 PM
The benefits of breastfeeding for mother and child are numerable, and still growing. The report below indicates that breastfeeding for more than year will halve a woman’s risk of getting rheumatoid arthritis.
JUNE 22, 2008 - 10:53 PM
Birth affirmations are a wonderful tool for the pregnant or laboring woman to use. There is a definite connection between mind and body and it is good to invest time in positive thought processing prior to the birth. Whether you read the affirmations to yourself, speak them aloud, or listen to them being read to you; they will directly affect your frame of mind.
What exactly is an affirmation? Often referred to as a mantra, affirmations are usually a few words or phrases that take on a positive tone. They are meant to encourage and direct. These serve as reminders to not be afraid, to let go and relax, to focus on a goal, and to stay strong all through pregnancy and labor.
JUNE 14, 2008 - 5:03 PM
Labor induction rates continue to climb in the United States for a variety of reasons. Whether it is because the mother has requested a “social induction” or the physician has stated that it’s medically necessary, the risks are still present.
The potential medical implications of inductions remain tangible, but are often overlooked. Inductions have been found to increase the possibility of a cesarean section. This is especially true of women who have had a previous vaginal birth, if their cervix is not ready for labor. It is possible that the agents used for inductions can cause uterine hyper-stimulation. Also the induction of labor will probably require multiple other interventions such as I.V. use, fetal monitoring, and sometimes movement may be restricted. Induced labors can be more painful due to the lack of endorphins being released by the body with the natural onset of labor.
JUNE 8, 2008 - 12:01 AM
So you’ve heard it said that vaginal birth is the culprit of urinary or bowel incontinence later in life….but is this true? As it turns out, there are other contributing factors to pelvic floor problems, many of which have nothing to do with childbirth. It is true that some interventions commonly seen with pregnancies, can lead to pelvic floor dysfunction in certain circumstances where there was injury to the pelvic floor muscles.
Many women are now thanking Dr. Kegel’s research which concluded that a person could train the pelvic floor muscles by doing simple exercises. Kegel exercises are often recommended for women who are pregnant to strengthen their pelvic floor muscle group in advance. Some incontinence in later pregnancy is expected, however this does not mean that a women will have a life long problem.
JUNE 3, 2008 - 10:00 PM
A mother soon learns to adapt to her environment, as the need to be able to do multiple things at once arises. Of course some children are more high maintenance than others, but all of them will make you wish that you had another set of hands and a spare brain. Believe it or not, this situational balancing act actually begins to feel normal at some point.
On a recent trip out of state, I found myself preparing to de-plane and using my pregnant body as a luggage and baby carrier. First I secured my purse over my neck and shoulder, then grabbed a heavy bag and slung it over my right arm. I was holding my toddler in front and asked a kind gentleman to assist me with getting the back pack down from the overhead bin. I then put the back pack on my back and slipped the blanket across my sleepy child while holding a sippy cup in my left hand. The airplane passengers seemed impressed as I layered each item onto me, but these circumstances did not seem unusual to my way of thinking. I’m a mom and moms do what they have to.
MAY 29, 2008 - 10:00 PM
While traveling recently I met a mother of three girls who had been away from home for several days. She had an eight month old, two year old, and a three year old. Although it sounds like her husband was competent in caring for the children, I wondered at how she felt about being away from them for an extended period of time.
I usually travel to Florida each year in May, however next year I will have an eight month old and a two year old. My husband suggested that perhaps I should leave the older child at home with him next year and just take the baby. But even if my trip was a short five days, I’m not sure that I could leave my two year old that long.
MAY 18, 2008 - 4:30 PM
Hello mothers and mothers-to-be. I will be out of state for the next 10 days, so hopefully I can get to a computer to blog once or twice. However, I thought this would be a good opportunity to post an Open Blog. This is where you can blog on any subject matter regarding birth or parenting, list subjects that you're interested in learning more about, or share stories.
MAY 15, 2008 - 4:56 PM
How long did you exclusively breastfeed your baby for? Do you plan on exclusively breastfeeding? Due to increased availability to moms of on-site lactation rooms and breast pumps, many mothers are making the choice to continue breastfeeding after returning to work. However, even with the research that has been presented on how a child benefits from breast milk, there are not many exclusively breastfed babies that reach six months of age.
A recent report published on Women’s E News discusses this topic. To read the full report, see Women's eNews.
MAY 13, 2008 - 8:32 AM
Before I saw the documentary called “the Business of Being Born” I had already witnessed the stir it was causing in the childbirth world. I read articles, watched reports, and heard opinions from those who were either outraged or impacted by it.
Last night the film was shown at our local Bear Tooth Theater. Reactions were mixed. Some angry individuals walk out during the movie, obviously disagreeing with the content. However, the mass majority of the sold-out crowd, not only viewed the movie, but stayed for the discussion afterwards.
This thought-provoking film mostly centered on the topic of home-birth being considered safe and normal. The interviews were varied and included midwives and obstetricians, both in the U.S. and in other countries. The startling statistics displayed in bold print on the screen, created an ugly awareness of truths often overlooked.
MAY 11, 2008 - 10:02 PM
Naming a baby is not a task to be taken lightly. This person will have to live with this name for their whole life. I believe that what you name your child will have a huge affect on them. I know, it sounds crazy. But I have seen people who have been mocked because of their name or respected because of it. I know people who have hated their name their whole life and have decided that it will never fit their personality. Other people seem to grab hold of a name as part of their core and not just a title.
Naming a child is nothing like naming a pet. The sheer responsibility of the task weighs on me even now. There are many things to consider. The meaning of a name has always been an important factor to me. My own name means “victory” and there have been times in life where I needed to remember that a crown of laurel was placed on the head of a victor. It became a root encouragement to me during my wobbly teen years and solidified into identity with time, one small victory after another. So with our own children, I believe that the meaning of a name can play an integral part in their lives.
MAY 9, 2008 - 9:45 PM
Everyone gets e-mail forwards and I must say that I usually delete them, prior to reading them...especially if it says "pass this on to so many people". However, in the spirit of Mother's day, I've been reading the last couple and came accross this one. I thought that this mother really hit the nail on the head. Being a mom is so much more.
JUST A MOM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,
MAY 8, 2008 - 12:43 PM
Do you ever experience those moments of sheer joy where you think to yourself “I must remember this forever”? I think back to when I felt that initial flutter of life in my belly, or when I held my baby for the first time. I think of him sighing contentedly in my arms before I put him in his crib or gurgling delight while being rocked on his daddy’s knees. I think of first steps, first foods, first fits, and first words. I think mostly of facial expressions and deep blue eyes, and I will myself, to not forget a single moment.
Although, I know that time is notorious for ebbing away at the corners of these memories, I work to imprint them into the recesses of my heart. I want to be able to retrieve them when I need them. I’ll need them when my teenager is angry with me, or my young adult son is going away to college, or my daughter is getting married, or maybe even when the grandchildren are born. The point is that those memories can carry us through many tough times.
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