Friends, we’re in big trouble.

A poll conducted in May but released only this month shows the American people’s approval rating is down to 53%. That means Mitt Romney approves of only 47% of us. If things get much worse, the unthinkable could happen. Mitt Romney might not vote for us in November.

Let’s face it. Our campaign to win his popularity is bleeding. We need a drastic reboot. The reasons for this are obvious. Far too many Americans are not pulling their weight. We’ve become so complacent we’ve relied on billionaires and megacorporations to finance Mitt. If you don’t believe me, just go to your neighborhood school and ask the kids how many of them have sent their lunch money to Mitt. The Brother Francis Shelter is loaded with deadbeats so chintzy that many of them have not even spared a measly $10,000 for Romney.

That’s the trouble with America today. Far too many believe they’re entitled to spend their own money on feeding themselves instead of contributing to Romney. Where is the outrage?

I blame the churches. Far too long they’ve been preaching abstinence to pregnant teenagers. As a result, millions of single moms have abstained from sending any money to Romney.

We’re running out of time. If we Americans refuse to take personal responsibility for turning over our life savings to Mitt, he may have to declare a national emergency.

That would mean—dare I say it?—hiring replacement voters.