Sarcasm? Hah! A non-fan writes in....

Posted by Matt Zencey

Posted: May 9, 2008 - 11:48 am

Here's a long reply that came directly to me, prompted by my notebook about liberal talk radio (which is on the blog here, a couple of posts down):

-- Matt Zencey

I read the above referenced editorial (SHE MEANS THE ALASKA NOTEBOOK ON LIBERAL TALK RADIO). I noticed, of course, you signed it. Did you win the straw pick among the editorial staff?

That was a quick and dirty attempt at sarcasm. Perhaps with more time I'd do better. My implication is that any one of your staff could have put his or her name to the editorial, as you are all liberals - ooops, sorry, progressives. I chose this rather lame opening, because I understand from my husband, who was listening to Dan Fagan's show, that you stated you were being sarcastic, not serious in this opinion piece. Upon hearing that I asked him if he had read it. He said he hadn't.

I don't listen to Dan Fagan, though I did for a while when we first moved to Anchorage. In my opinion he is lazy in his thinking. He thinks as a liberal does. He starts with what he believes and then cherry picks arguments to fit it. The conservatives I know (who all seem to be recovering liberals) start with facts, follow with analysis and end with opinion. The opinion then is always open to adjustment, as it based not so much on belief, as it is on real world analysis. [May I recommend David Mamet's "Why I am No Longer a 'Brain Dead Liberal'" (Village Voice 3/11/08) - link - www.villagevoice.com/news/0811,why-i-am-no-longer-a-brain-dead-liberal,374064,1.html ] And, because I don't listen to him, I didn't hear you. I respect my husband's opinion, however, and he said you were quite convincing in insisting you were being sarcastic.

Alas, I had to insist you either a) failed miserably: This is not unusual in attempting sarcasm. A writer's emotions, especially if he is particularly angry, stymied or hate-filled, leak into his writings. Or, b) were building a straw man to hide behind: 'Is it my fault conservatives are not only uneducated, mindless, unemployed, fat drunks, but so stupid they can't recognize a good sarcastic editorial when it is directed at them? The only thing I did wrong was to flatter them by assuming they'd be more perceptive than they are.'

Sorry, neither will fly - at least not with me. Of course clearly I am not an individual whose opinion you value. My husband, who is gainfully employed and returning from visiting a client when he heard you on the radio, was listening to Fagan, but that was unusual for him. It is I, who does not "have (a) real job during the day", who regularly listens to it. But, don't worry, I've been told for years by feminists that raising children, helping out in the community, fixing appliances, shopping and general home maintenance don't require a brain, so your lack of respect is nothing new.

Yes, I (head hanging in shame) listen to conservative talk radio. I like Dennis Prager, Dennis Miller, Michael Medved and others. And, - sit down Matt, this may shock you - I was told to listen to these folks by my 26 year old son, who is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin (Madison for God's sake!) and lives in sophisticated, progressive Minneapolis! I know, I know, your world is shaken, but hang on there. I'm sure he is an anomaly. He graduated and started noting that his own empirical evidence didn't match what the professors had told him about the world. How many times do progressive colleges fail? How many graduates think about the world around them? Can't be that many. (Oh, he is employed. He pod-casts.)

I probably never read it, or if I did it was before I destroyed, through my ruinous, mindless, pointless lifestyle, what brain cells evolution granted me, but I believe a really good sarcastic piece is Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal". If you were seriously attempting sarcasm you might try reading it again, sort of as an example. Couldn't hurt.

Gotta run. I'm feeling a strange pain in my head. You don't suppose in just reading your editorial my mind has started to regenerate itself? Wow, I didn't realize how powerful progressive thoughts were! I don't know when Rush Limbaugh is on around here, but I'm sure there is a soap opera I can watch. Unfortunately, I don't drink beer. Well, don't worry, I don't want you to think I'm bitter. I'm sure there's a cure. If all else fails I'll find a church or a gun store to visit.

All my best,

Joann Grimes (Pantages)

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